The Ignorance of Youth

Three weeks ago, my dad’s ashes were finally laid to rest in the cemetery in Congleton where I live. It is a beautiful place surrounded by green fields and even though it is only a short walk from the town centre all you can hear are the birds in the trees and sheep in the fields. What’s more, it’s only a fifteen minute walk from my flat so I can go there whenever I feel a bit down:

On Monday, my sister and her family came to spend some time with us. She was feeling low because she had not yet seen my dad’s memorial stone following the internment of his ashes, and was feeling left out. I had initially planned to spend the Bank Holiday with my mum but it eventually turned into a family thing with my mum inviting every one for a buffet-style tea.

It was a nice chance to catch up with my sister who I had not seen for a few weeks, and naturally we talked about dad and the cruelties of life. She then told me a story about something quite poignant that my nephew, Andrew (aged six and a half), had done. On Sunday afternoon, they had been watching the Manchester United v Arsenal game on Sky Sports and my sister had commented that dad, a United fan too, would have loved the game. She told me that she had to get up to leave the room and as she did so, my nephew put his hands together to pray … when she asked him what he was doing, he replied that he was preying to grandpa to let him know the score! After the game, he asked my sister if God had Sky and whether grandpa would be able to watch the game in Heaven.

My nephew is very bright, and he’s well aware that he will never see his grandpa again, but it’s easy to forget the fact that a child of six years old has no real understanding of death.

When I got home, I started stitching and during a pause I looked up at a photo of my nephew which regaled the tale to me and set my emotions off again.

Grief is probably one of the hardest emotions I have ever had to deal with as one minute you think you are coping and the next your being ambushed and “WHOOOSH” the emotions go and the tears flow. What’s hardest of all is knowing that my dad is no longer there to offer support and encouragement or even his worldly advice. I miss him so very much, but I know that even though he is no longer here in body, his spirit will always be in my heart.

All this has made me realise how ignorant the young are to the cruelties of life, and just how much I envy my nephew right now.

I am feeling quite low right now, and I suspect this will affect my mood for the next few days.

Posting my feelings on here helps me to cope with my grief, so I hope you guys don’t mind me sharing this with you.

Well that's all for now, thanks for reading!

Regards

Cazzy (aka Gatchacaz) xxx